Trusting and believing in what you can do

By Simon Wright - Follow me on Twitter @Siwri88

Over the last two weeks, thousands of students up and down the country, as well as Scotland and Wales have been receiving their exam results.  For some, it is the crucial A Levels that determine whether they get the place they want at Universities across the United Kingdom.  For others, it is proof that they are onto a bright future and for some unlucky ones, a nervous future might wait.  However if you didn’t get the results you were looking for, then don’t give up.  With hard work and sheer persistence, you will get to where you want to go.

I am speaking from personal experience, and will open up on a chapter of my life that I have always struggled to talk about.  I feel though that this is the right time to express my feelings on a subject that could have destroyed me, but was actually the making of where I am today.

The date was Thursday, 25 August 2005, and it was the turn of yours truly to receive my GCSE results.  At this time you believe everything your secondary school teachers say.  I was told eight months earlier that I would get eight GCSEs at A-C grade without Double Science, which was always going to be failed due to my lack of knowledge and understanding of all scientific aspects.  Others said that without Maths and English, you won’t get into University so basically your life is screwed if you don’t get these grades.  Being 16 at the time, you become naïve and believe they know what they are talking about.

Outlook and the reality

The reality was I never enjoyed the process of exams in those days.  While I wouldn’t say I was the brainiest child by some distance, I did carry strong knowledge in many subjects in the classroom, and this carried through into coursework too.  However when it came to exams, everything changed.  I couldn’t quite put my finger on it – whether it was nerves, the exam hall scenario or those irritating invigilators who have a job to do, but you wish they just weren’t there to oversee things.

My tutor at the time in Year 11 had forecasted eight GCSEs, and I’d made a realistic prediction of six.  So when I left my house to take the bus to my secondary school to collect that piece of paper, I was cautiously optimistic that I had done well.

When I got to the hall, I opened the paper and felt sick.  I remember feeling lost, everything in the hall was a blur.  I had got C grades in the English subjects, as well as French and Religious Studies, but it was well below my expectations.  I felt I would get good grades in History, Maths and Drama too – with Geography and I.C.T being subjects where it could go one way or the other.  Around me, everyone was celebrating their superb results and there was I – feeling down, gutted, devastated and trying to keep my emotions in check. 

Only one of my friends came to see me and could see I was struggling to take in the shock of what I had just seen on the white paper.  She gave me some comforting words before I departed.  I just wanted to get out of the place, find a corner down the street and throw up. 

In reality, I look back and realise I didn’t work hard enough.  I had revised in all my subjects, and given it my best but I could have studied harder and put in extra hours.  Perhaps I had got complacent.  Either way as I went home, I looked into the prospect of not knowing what to do next.

It was a bribe

The school I went to was a place called Radcliffe Secondary in Milton Keynes.  The main talk of the whole year was the mess the school was in, having just entered special measures after failing an Ofsted inspection.

Therefore the temporary headteacher came in and offered all students £200 if they passed five GCSEs at A-C level.  This was no more than a filthy and ungrateful bribe.  The headteacher, who will remain unnamed also, offered £50 to every single student who took their exams.

I even appeared on Central News in May 2005, around a week before the exams started to give my feelings on the money incentive.  I remember saying: “Everyone feels happier, morale gets higher.”  When you are 16 you think it is a good thing, but growing up it doesn’t feel right and shouldn’t be encouraged in schools up and down the land today.  Something like a free day out at a top theme park or a special event at the school such as a private audience with a former pupil who has gone onto becoming a star would be more appropriate. 

What’s more, I never saw any of this money.  It was given to the successful students, but I never received the £50 for taking exams.  At the time I would have taken it without a second thought but offered now; I would take it and donate it to charity.

I never made a fuss of it – because I knew I would probably be facing a losing battle, but the whole incentive was dirty, wrong and totally unethical.  I have nothing positive to say on the 'bribe.'

Fighting back

I did get into Sixth Form because I decided to retake my Maths GCSE, and this time I got it on the second attempt of asking.  I also found out that my History paper was re-marked, because I missed out on a C grade by just one mark.  Amazingly they couldn’t find the extra mark that could have made a difference. 

When I decided in the spring of 2006 that I didn’t want to go to University, the head of the sixth form I attended wrote me off and basically decided I was a failure.  That was entirely my decision.  I believed I wasn’t ready for the Uni challenge, and after some okay AS Level results, knew I wanted to pursue a career in the media industry.

That is where Milton Keynes College came along and offered me fresh hope.  I did complete the second year at sixth form, but had decided almost at the start of that second year that college was my next destination.  I slightly regret not leaving my sixth form in the summer of 2006, as I could have made the move to University a year earlier, but I probably wouldn’t have made the network of friends I have now from the sixth form days and the people that entered my life during the University of Northampton experience. 

After two fruitful years at college where I knuckled down and stayed out of the partying to get the results I needed, I went to University.  With the UCAS points I had built up, I could have gone to a top-class University but felt Northampton was a decent home for me to set-up for three years.

Now after some time on the sidelines before having started a permanent role with Topps Europe six weeks ago, I look back on my education history with pride.  I finished with a 2:1 journalism degree, a BTEC National Diploma in Media Production, A Levels in English Literature and General Studies, and AS Levels in History, Sociology and Travel & Tourism.  And all of this came from that day in August 2005 where it felt like I had no future.

Advice to keep it up

Results day can be both the best and worst days for students

To those students who got the results they wanted and were looking for over the past fortnight, many congratulations (students pictured looking ecstatic.  I hope you go on to have a brilliant time at University; college, sixth form or even full-time employment if that’s the avenue you decide to go down.

For the people who didn’t quite get what they wanted out of these exams, the bits of advice I would offer is always have a Plan B, keep believing and don’t give up.  In my experience, giving up is the easy option but quitters never win.  Trust in what you want to do, whether you want to be a journalist, a lawyer, a teacher, even a brain surgeon if you want!  You can achieve anything if you put the hard work and dedication into your chosen field.

Categories: 2005, A Levels, Bribery, Central News, GCSEs, Maths, Milton Keynes, Scotland, Wales

Recovering from setbacks

I can probably speak for many that life isn’t plain-sailing.  Nor should it be.  You would have to be the luckiest person in the world to have the perfect everything.

If you do have the perfect job, the perfect marriage, the perfect family and friends, and the perfect bank balance, then congratulations for being such a lucky devil. 

I don’t mean that in a bad way either, I just prefer those who have to work exceptionally hard to get where they are today, rather than see success just handed out on a plate.

Plus, it is important to recover from setbacks and take the positives out of experiences – otherwise we don’t improve as individuals.

That could be a record deal that has turned sour, a football transfer move that went wrong, or something as simple as a rejection which could mean the end of the world.

The reality is it isn’t.  New avenues can open up, and for every crushing disappointment – there’s a cloud in a silver lining.

For me, I’ve had a couple of experiences where I have had this and reacted in different ways.  One was on an educational scale, and one was on the never ending job search lately. 

On both occasions, I took the positives from this shattering setbacks and feel that improvements can and will be made.  After all, that is the only way we improve as individuals.  Self-assessment doesn’t have to be taxing as one advert used to say.

Unfair but made sense

It was the autumn of 2001, and the world was only just coming to terms with the shocking terrorist attack on America on September 11^th, and the air strikes that had got underway in Afghanistan – a country that our brave and strong troops are still serving in today.

In my own personal life, I had just started at secondary school – a massive change after four years at the same middle school.

I remember the start of my first year there (Year 8), and it was a real wake-up call.  The high amount of levels in homework was absolutely ridiculous.  I wasn’t prepared for such a change, and some of the lessons were demanding too.

It was a packed curriculum at the time.  Not only did you have the basics of English, Maths and Science to cope with, there were lessons in French, I.C.T, R.S, Geography, History, Music, Food Technology, P.E, Drama and Art.  You could see how easy it was for me to be confused!

Sometimes, phrases in pictures speak louder than words in general

Anyway I still thought I was managing the situation okay, until in October – six weeks after the first term began.  The school changed the timetables around and I was put in a lower group of study.  It was called Route 2 as I recall at the time.

Not only was I going to be separated from the friendship network I was building up, it felt like an insult to my intelligence.  I’m not the smartest tool in the box, but I couldn’t fathom why I wasn’t good enough to not be in a higher group. 

I’ve always wanted to challenge myself, and felt this was a massive misjudgement from my secondary school.

I went home that night in floods of tears.  I don’t think I’ve been more devastated than I was that Friday evening in my education history, apart from GCSE results day.  I didn’t care about what people were saying to me that this wasn’t the end of my hopes for the future. 

All I wanted to do was crawl underneath something and stay there.  Half-term was around the corner, so it didn’t matter.

I felt I was considered as a total failure and a write-off.  Those who know me will agree that I have often shown a dramatic side to my personality.

Ultimately, it was the best thing that could have happened to me.  Although I had to deal with a stalking problem from a fellow student who nobody liked, dropping to a lower level meant I was able to cope with the workload much better.

I worked hard, got some decent end-of-year exam results and at the end of the year – got my promotion back to a higher tier of study for Year 9. 

My initial reaction was one of pain, hurt and anger.  In the long run, everything worked out through some hard work, more determination and a stronger side to me that I had probably been lacking in education upto that point.

Taking the positives out of the disappointment

On Monday this week, I got the news I wasn’t hoping for.  I had been turned down for a job I had applied for in media.

It was my first media interview since graduating from the University of Northampton last summer.  All those application rejections, ignored e-mails and unpaid experiences that had turned sour finally had a point.

I don’t want to say too much about the role I was going for, except it would have meant relocation from my current base to the north of England. 

Also, it was an entry level position and one where I felt I met all of the job specifications in the criteria.

I had the interview last week, and felt I did very well.  I was nervous on the day, but I didn’t show it.  I spoke confidently, showed my problem solving skills, explained what I had done before and undergone a written assessment of a high standard.

I left the venue and the area feeling that I had done all that I could.  I couldn’t have done anymore to be honest, and at the end of the day – that’s all you can do in any given situation.

The position was always going to be fiercely competitive, and it ended up going to an individual with more experience in an office environment.

That is no reflection on me, and the feedback I got was very positive.  Sure, I was very disappointed with the outcome.  Who wouldn’t be in that situation, but the experience I’ve taken from this is valuable.

With a degree of luck, I hope it won’t be long before the big breakthrough happens for me.  It’s no good stuffing your face with chocolate and sitting in a corner staring into space.  That’s the quitting option – and that is not an option for yours truly.

If something doesn’t quite go the way you want it to go, it is important to learn from your setbacks and become stronger for them, otherwise we don’t become better people at the end of the day.

Categories: Autumn, Bank, English, Friendship, GCSEs, Job, Life, Marriage, Maths, Media