Every second counts

By Simon Wright – Follow me on Twitter @Siwri88

The month of July is full of milestones for me, both in a good and bad way. They range from the anniversary of my graduation to recently, completing a full year in my full-time role in the publishing industry.

Of course, nothing’s ever perfect in life. Some aim for total perfection but it simply isn’t possible. And this particular month brings back some painful memories which will always remain forever.

It is an incident I don’t like to talk about, largely because it makes me emotional. After much deliberation, I have decided not to go into detail about what actually happened to me on the evening of 23 July 2009. What I will say though is it changed who I was and the proof that every second really does count in life.

Luck on my side

Those close to me personally will know what happened. It was an incident that really shook my confidence. On the night of Thursday, 23 July 2009 – my life could well have ended. I’m not exaggerating either. It was a truly terrifying ordeal and there wasn’t much I could have done when it was taking place. It is at these points and I’m not a religious person where you want the Lord to be looking down on you and ensuring no great harm is done.

I suffered relatively light injuries (that’s if you put a broken nose in that category). In the days afterwards, I had never felt so shaken up, terrified of what might happen next. I was in-between the transfer of finishing college to starting University. I was moving into Halls of Residence in Northampton in less than seven weeks’ time and here was a massive hurdle that was now in my way. I became tense and scared of even leaving home. So, the days afterwards were some of the hardest I’ve ever had to go through. Gradually though, it would get better.

I admit I am very lucky to even be here today. So, I know that but I’m encouraged to have progressed so much since.

That hasn’t come though without needing to make some changes.

No more risks

I think that what happened has made me more of a cautious individual, particularly when it comes to taking risks or a chance that could backfire. I have never been a massive risk-taker anyway but you don’t appreciate the consequences of what could happen if things go wrong. That’s just something that doesn’t need to be factored in.

It has perhaps made me more reluctant to commit to certain aspects of life but if it is what keeps me secure, then it is hardly a crime.

For sure, I became a safer person. There was a period where I would enjoy going out, hitting the nightclubs and having a few too many drinks. Then I would somehow stumble home and not quite remember how that happened. Now, I don’t take those chances anymore. I still like to go out, but I’m more likely to have a few drinks in a bar and have a giggle with some of my close friends rather than go clubbing. Those regular days ended with what happened and while there were still occasions of this at University – only the nights out in the Balestra nightclub in Northampton felt anything truly special. I would always go and have a good time, but remember to get home safe and know I’ve done that too. I’m happy I took this route – it was just a shame something bad had to happen for me to realise this.

The real life lesson

Five years is a long, long time and the fear that was built around me slowly started to come down as the end of summer 2009 approached. I’m thankful the University adventure was when it was. The move to Northampton came at the right time, a great opportunity to make a fresh start.

Physically, I’m okay and emotionally, it is tough to talk about it but when someone asks, I will give brief details. The days afterwards, I got some fantastic support from the people I valued and respected. Friendship is an important part of my life – right up there with family values and for me, much more than a relationship.

Mentally though, the scars of that night will probably always be there. It is not something that can totally be forgotten. It might be the case for 360 days of the year but in the week leading up to the date, it becomes a bit more difficult. I would be lying if I said the incident hasn’t been replayed in my head but luckily, that is only in rare circumstances.

The real life lesson out of it though was the general appreciation of what life is all about. It was something I told one of my closest friends from the college days around a fortnight afterwards and that was; ‘every second of my life is precious now.’

Make the most of the time available to you

And it has been too, both in the good memories and even the moments where things haven’t gone according to plan. Every second counts in life. Always cherish those special moments and make the most of what is available because no-one knows what is around the corner. The unexpected really is the unexpected.

Since then, I am a journalism graduate, a full-time worker in one of my preferred chosen fields, freelance journalist and successful blogger and been on many journeys since, from holidays in Fuerteventura to visits to the Olympic Park in Stratford, the home of British motorsport, Silverstone (twice) and a VIP tour of Wembley Stadium. And I know that if things had gone slightly different five years ago – none of that might have been possible.

So, every second is precious. Don’t waste time – who knows what will happen next.

Categories: 2009, Changes, Five, Friendship, Incidents, July, Life, Milestones, Risks, Seconds

Recovering from setbacks

I can probably speak for many that life isn’t plain-sailing.  Nor should it be.  You would have to be the luckiest person in the world to have the perfect everything.

If you do have the perfect job, the perfect marriage, the perfect family and friends, and the perfect bank balance, then congratulations for being such a lucky devil. 

I don’t mean that in a bad way either, I just prefer those who have to work exceptionally hard to get where they are today, rather than see success just handed out on a plate.

Plus, it is important to recover from setbacks and take the positives out of experiences – otherwise we don’t improve as individuals.

That could be a record deal that has turned sour, a football transfer move that went wrong, or something as simple as a rejection which could mean the end of the world.

The reality is it isn’t.  New avenues can open up, and for every crushing disappointment – there’s a cloud in a silver lining.

For me, I’ve had a couple of experiences where I have had this and reacted in different ways.  One was on an educational scale, and one was on the never ending job search lately. 

On both occasions, I took the positives from this shattering setbacks and feel that improvements can and will be made.  After all, that is the only way we improve as individuals.  Self-assessment doesn’t have to be taxing as one advert used to say.

Unfair but made sense

It was the autumn of 2001, and the world was only just coming to terms with the shocking terrorist attack on America on September 11^th, and the air strikes that had got underway in Afghanistan – a country that our brave and strong troops are still serving in today.

In my own personal life, I had just started at secondary school – a massive change after four years at the same middle school.

I remember the start of my first year there (Year 8), and it was a real wake-up call.  The high amount of levels in homework was absolutely ridiculous.  I wasn’t prepared for such a change, and some of the lessons were demanding too.

It was a packed curriculum at the time.  Not only did you have the basics of English, Maths and Science to cope with, there were lessons in French, I.C.T, R.S, Geography, History, Music, Food Technology, P.E, Drama and Art.  You could see how easy it was for me to be confused!

Sometimes, phrases in pictures speak louder than words in general

Anyway I still thought I was managing the situation okay, until in October – six weeks after the first term began.  The school changed the timetables around and I was put in a lower group of study.  It was called Route 2 as I recall at the time.

Not only was I going to be separated from the friendship network I was building up, it felt like an insult to my intelligence.  I’m not the smartest tool in the box, but I couldn’t fathom why I wasn’t good enough to not be in a higher group. 

I’ve always wanted to challenge myself, and felt this was a massive misjudgement from my secondary school.

I went home that night in floods of tears.  I don’t think I’ve been more devastated than I was that Friday evening in my education history, apart from GCSE results day.  I didn’t care about what people were saying to me that this wasn’t the end of my hopes for the future. 

All I wanted to do was crawl underneath something and stay there.  Half-term was around the corner, so it didn’t matter.

I felt I was considered as a total failure and a write-off.  Those who know me will agree that I have often shown a dramatic side to my personality.

Ultimately, it was the best thing that could have happened to me.  Although I had to deal with a stalking problem from a fellow student who nobody liked, dropping to a lower level meant I was able to cope with the workload much better.

I worked hard, got some decent end-of-year exam results and at the end of the year – got my promotion back to a higher tier of study for Year 9. 

My initial reaction was one of pain, hurt and anger.  In the long run, everything worked out through some hard work, more determination and a stronger side to me that I had probably been lacking in education upto that point.

Taking the positives out of the disappointment

On Monday this week, I got the news I wasn’t hoping for.  I had been turned down for a job I had applied for in media.

It was my first media interview since graduating from the University of Northampton last summer.  All those application rejections, ignored e-mails and unpaid experiences that had turned sour finally had a point.

I don’t want to say too much about the role I was going for, except it would have meant relocation from my current base to the north of England. 

Also, it was an entry level position and one where I felt I met all of the job specifications in the criteria.

I had the interview last week, and felt I did very well.  I was nervous on the day, but I didn’t show it.  I spoke confidently, showed my problem solving skills, explained what I had done before and undergone a written assessment of a high standard.

I left the venue and the area feeling that I had done all that I could.  I couldn’t have done anymore to be honest, and at the end of the day – that’s all you can do in any given situation.

The position was always going to be fiercely competitive, and it ended up going to an individual with more experience in an office environment.

That is no reflection on me, and the feedback I got was very positive.  Sure, I was very disappointed with the outcome.  Who wouldn’t be in that situation, but the experience I’ve taken from this is valuable.

With a degree of luck, I hope it won’t be long before the big breakthrough happens for me.  It’s no good stuffing your face with chocolate and sitting in a corner staring into space.  That’s the quitting option – and that is not an option for yours truly.

If something doesn’t quite go the way you want it to go, it is important to learn from your setbacks and become stronger for them, otherwise we don’t become better people at the end of the day.

Categories: Autumn, Bank, English, Friendship, GCSEs, Job, Life, Marriage, Maths, Media

Turning 24...life moves fast

Life moves fast but turning 24 is not the end of the world

Next Wednesday, I turn 24 years old.  This scares me a bit.  While I hope to have a brilliant day and fingers crossed, a lot of well-wishing – life is moving fast.

You never know what is around the corner but realistically, I have lived out a third of my life already.  That is a disturbing thought to have!

24 is not a special age – especially if you have a lack of money, no relationship, no paid job and have a life that in direction terms, feels like a stalled Formula One motor racing car.

Negative thoughts aside, I have learnt a lot from the past 23 years and that is a lot of life experiences. 

Many scenarios have been thrown infront of me and fortunately, I have managed to conquer many hurdles flung at me.

Here are 10 things I have learnt from this life of mine, which is hurtling quicker than a normal commuting train from Milton Keynes to London Euston.

1. Don’t be greedy – When it comes to presents, appreciate what they are now with age.  Some might not be exciting but it is the thought that counts (except if it is another pair of smelly socks!)  Presents are lovely to have but occasions like birthdays and Christmas mean more nowadays than just gifts.

2. Be healthy – Although I don’t have the healthiest diet on the planet and my eating habits are so different to many out there, I try to look after myself.  I do drink but only occasionally and very rarely will I let that get out of control.  I don’t smoke, I don’t take drugs and I exercise regularly.  The days of being a fat couch potato are luckily a thing of the past.

3. Being helpful – One of the main qualities I think I have in life.  I always like to try and help people, especially if they deserve it.  It is nice to do this and hopefully, the person you are helping respects and values your kindness.

4. Take a step back – Don’t get too intense about life, what is the point.  Okay, you can disagree with a political viewpoint, a sporting decision or the choice of music from a fellow human being but the only life you can control is yours, no-one else.

5. Appreciate what you have – Sure, when we have lots of things, we would love to have more.  However, appreciate what you have.  Most of us will have some great friends, a wonderful family and if you are lucky, an appealing relationship.  Some of us on a worldwide scale don’t have this luxury.

6. Always expect the unexpected – Hardly anything ever goes as planned.  Always expect the unexpected.  Life is never easy but then again, if it was – it would be boring.

7. Don’t complain – Okay, this isn’t easy.  Trust me, I complain about things when they don’t go right but it is best to change your attitude or approach or just don’t complain.

8. Stress – There is no point in being stressed because all you do is make things doubly worse or say something that you are likely to regret.  Chill out a little bit more, approach things in a more relaxed manner.  So, when someone tells you to R-E-L-A-X, take their advice!

9. Have a crush on a celebrity – Let’s face it, we must all idolise a celebrity – whether that is a pop sensation, a Premier League footballer, an attractive film star or if you really are bizarre, a political leader.  By the age of 24, if you don’t have a dream crush/love, something is seriously wrong.

10. Work hard – Work hard and the rewards will come.  Sometimes, it is harder than it is for others but lazy, clumsy people who show no effort won’t go the places you want to.  With a bit of dedication to your career, you will succeed in some form.  It is just a question of patience.

At the end of the day, we have to make the most of our life and the opportunities offered, otherwise what is the point of it all.

Being 24 isn’t the greatest age to be but it isn’t the end of the world and it could be a whole lot worse.

Categories: Age, Celebrities, Healthy, Help, Life, Relationships, Stress