Two weeks
have now passed since Valentine’s Day – a day where couples or lovers around
the world shower their other half with cuddly bears, flowers, chocolates
etc.
As my
‘singleton’ status hasn’t changed, nor will it likely change in the coming
months or years (a non-existent track record is proof) – I thought I would try
to untangle the complexness that this question can provide on plenty of our
lives.
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| There are many descriptions and words we can use for love... |
What is love?
Pride and affection
After typing
‘Definition of love’ into the Google search engine, these were the two common
terminologies.
As a noun,
love is an intense feeling of deep affection.
As a verb, it is feeling a deep romantic or sexual attachment to another
individual.
So I thought
I would explore both sides of these terminologies.
The first one
probably applies to me more, and does for so many others.
There are
many feelings we have within our systems, whether it be celebrity crushes,
family power or pride and belief in the country you live in, support or even represent.
It might only
be a short word with four letters in it, but I’ve often found the word to be
embarrassing to say, or difficult to use.
There are
many things with our country that can give cause for deep affection. Examples could be the Queen and the Royal
Family for their noble and gracious service towards Britain.
The scenes
last year throughout the summer, both at the Olympic Games and the Diamond
Jubilee were picture you were there moments – memories you won’t forget.
Watching it
on TV, I certainly felt affection for the Queen – and I experienced the intense
feeling of competitors realising their dreams or having hopes shattered at
London 2012, both from a distance and from the BT London Live venues I visited.
There are
certain aspects that we can also say we love.
It might be a food that you find irresistible to avoid, a football team
that gets the blood veins boiling, a celebrity who just captures your heart, or
even a particular holiday destination which took you to another planet away
from home comforts.
This term is
the easiest to explain, and also the easiest to use when you come around to
asking the question of ‘What is love?’
Common and complex
This brings
me onto the second aspect and the deeper feelings you could/might feel for
another human being.
In life, we
all go onto meet amazing people who touch us in different ways. Sometimes it is a chemistry attraction that
can be difficult to explain.
And if you
are really lucky, you might find the perfect match and spend a life together
happily ever after, like in all those fairytales you heard about growing up.
The reality
is it is difficult to admit these feelings, and there has to be a confidence
and courage to pluck up and say how you truly feel about the individual
standing next or opposite to you. It
must be better this way than via e-mail, text messaging, video calling or social
media.
Sometimes it
can lead to total rejection, or a dismissive reaction. Other times, the bravery will reap the
rewards. It is difficult to find the
right balance and judge when the time and the place is right to blurt it out.
Of course,
things could get awkward should the feelings you have not be reciprocated by
the fellow human being, but again that will totally depend on the personality
and the approach afterwards.
Love is such
a powerful word to use, and in these situations – it has to be used very
carefully. It is okay to admit you have
feelings for someone, or approach it saying ‘I’d like us to be more than just
friends,’ but until you’ve been with someone – you don’t know what it is really
like and that’s the reality.
In my
instance, being single is not the greatest feeling in the world at all. I have hoped I would have found my perfect
match by now, but for one reason or another (work, college, University), nothing
happened. That wasn’t for the worth of
trying though.
I don’t want
to delve too much into my history of feeling love, or shall we say ‘feel
different’ in this situation. My
experiences of telling people how I feel haven’t turned out the way I hoped
they would.
Has it
knocked my confidence in this department?
Yes it has, without a doubt. I
wish things could have ended different, but it is no good dwelling on
everything. Rewinding the century or the
year is not an option, and you must move on in these instances. Sometimes, it just isn’t meant to be.
Occasionally,
you have to go and find love, and that isn’t me. I don’t do dating websites – so the chances
of finding love and settling down with the opposite partner I’d say are slim at
best.
However, you
never know what is around the corner.
The people who make you the happiest are often the people you never
expect. When you find love, you must
cherish it or it will come back to bite you.
Answering the question
In summary,
what does love mean to me? It means
feeling pride, joy and happiness in being surrounded by your passions and
interests. While I might not have found
my ‘special one’ (sorry Mr. Mourinho for borrowing your phrase), I can count myself
lucky that I have a close network of loving family and caring friends.
And what is
love ultimately? I think I will say that
it means different things to pretty much everybody on this planet.
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