Does time heal everything?

By Simon Wright – Follow me on Twitter @Siwri88

As we all go through aspects of our lives, we will experience momentous occasions. These events can vary from the happy moments of marriage, having children, job promotions and graduation to the more difficult memories of family tragedy, health concerns, loss of working income and missing out on romance.

However, does time heal everything thrown at individuals? Using a couple of my recollections and a moment where the whole world changed irreversibly, I examine whether it is possible to move on from challenging and extremely fraught circumstances.

The healer of time

If the title of this piece is the question posed towards myself, I would say that most tough parts of life can be healed. This can be through various methods – from hard work and identifying where it went wrong to a few damming self-assessments.

One of those moments was a spell of tricky results in exams. Throughout my education history, I wouldn’t say I was a budding Mastermind champion of the future, but I always put the work in and did my best, even when the odds were against me of achieving great results.

In 2005, I got a reality check though with a set of disastrous GCSE results. I had been predicted to get eight A-C grades seven months earlier, without Double Science which was a lost cause from an early stage. I ended up well below that mark on the day of the results itself. 

That was a really tough moment, seeing my fellow friends celebrate with a mixture of delight and relief and there I was, in the middle of the secondary school hall I attended, looking devastated and basically in the middle of a blur. It was a scenario I had never imagined. One thing I remember thinking was ‘How do I come back from this?’

I did though. I accepted that I hadn’t worked hard enough and raised my game. I got into sixth form, followed by college and then University. Seven years later, I was leaving Uni with a 2:1 final grade in my specialist subject. Time was a great healer in this experience.

Not so when it comes to losing people special in your life though. Friends come and go, colleagues can become a regular source of contact and then gradually fade away when you move on. It happens, as much as we dislike it. However, when it comes to saying goodbye for the last time, the healing process sometimes can’t be fixed.

In my case, I have had to deal with this on a few occasions and simply, time doesn’t heal whether it is one, five or fifty years after the event occurred. Sure, you must try to move on and you have to in a way but those who depart close to us can never be replaced. In these moments, you must try to remember the happy moments, the good experiences that brought you together. It is the only way possible to at least deal with the grief.

Irreversible change     

Sometimes, time simply can’t heal and for one country and even the world, dates get transfixed where change happens and it is irreversible, it will never be forgotten.

Today (Thursday) marks the 13^th anniversary of one of the world’s blackest days. The terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11^th 2001 left a country in mourning, a world in deep shock and for the people directly affected, in a state of total remorse.

Thousands of people lost their lives that day, whether that was on the hijacked planes, or in the towers of the World Trade Centre in New York – both collapsing after they were deliberately targeted and crashed into by international terrorists. The planet was beginning to learn of the serious affect terrorism was about to play over the next 13 years.

For many people caught up in the atrocity, they were totally innocent. It is almost impossible to imagine what many were doing that morning when they woke up in America, with no knowledge whatsoever of the fate that was to befall them.

It was an attack that was witnessed by millions across the world on television. It was a time where the kings of the internet now, Facebook, Twitter and YouTube were just an idea in the fantasies of the creators. It was 24-hour news channels that brought us the shocking pictures into our living rooms and bedrooms. It was a country under attack and at the heart of it, personal tragedy (memorial pictured below) wherever you went.

The 9/11 memorial - on the sight where the Twin Towers used to stand

If you were old enough, then we all remember what we were doing that day, wherever you were. The first plane hit the North Tower of the World Trade Centre just before 2pm UK time on that late summer’s Tuesday afternoon. At that time, I was into my second week of secondary school, in a maths class, being taught something about fractions or equations by a teacher who had major language limitations with his spoken use of English.  

13 years on and that pain will always be there for the families and friends who lost loved ones on 9/11. Time simply doesn’t heal in this instance. That day, our lives changed. The world changed forever. Today, there should be a time to remember the many thousands who perished in America, but also those caught up in similar disgusting acts in the coming years in Bali, Madrid, Istanbul and of course, London in 2005.

Today, the thoughts with many in the world should be with the families who lost their closest and dearest on 9/11.   

So does time heal pain?

Ultimately, time can heal the element of pain but it also won’t, no matter what happens.

I think it just depends on the actual scenario that takes place. Happiness can be easily found with someone else if a relationship breaks up, but that might not always happen. Some elements are easy to fix as time moves on but it is impossible in other situations.

It might sound inconclusive, but that is the reality of it all. As time passes, pain can be healed and replaced with joy, but sometimes, it will leave an empty void that simply can’t be filled.

Categories: America, Anniversary, Country, Emptiness, Exams, GCSEs, Healing, People, Time, World

The Ice Bucket Challenge - Has it lost its purpose?

By Simon Wright – Follow me on Twitter @Siwri88

It has become the latest internet craze and it is raising money for causes that deserve it. However, the Ice Bucket Challenge, which has seen actors & actresses, musicians, TV personalities and sports stars raise awareness for ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis), is threatening to get out of control.

Questions are starting to be raised about the point of the challenge and has it lost its edge/purpose? I promote more background on the Ice Bucket craze and give my view on the summer sensation online.

The idea

So, the Ice Bucket Challenge does exactly what it says on the tin (excuse the pun). It involves people dumping a bucket of ice over themselves, or being assisted in this way by another member of a team, whether that is a family member, relationship partner or work colleague (group pictured conducting the challenge below).

A group of people in Sunderland undertake the Ice Bucket Challenge

The act has to be filmed and the video is then posted online, usually onto social media channels like Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. The person doing the challenge then usually nominates 3-5 people to do the same and give them a timeframe to do the challenge, often between 24-48 hours.

Of course, this isn’t something that should be done for fun or a pointless laugh. A charitable donation has to be made to complete the challenge. In America, which is where the craze got underway, it is often towards the ALS association, whilst over here in the UK, the regular charity benefiting from this is the Motor Neurone Disease Association.

It all sounds simple, or does it?

Celebrity impact

The challenge starting receiving impact in June this year, when personalities from a breakfast programme in the US did the challenge live on-air.

The craze then started to spread with donations being made and more celebrities being nominated. Even Barack Obama and David Cameron were nominated to do the challenge. Wisely, both declined and made just a donation instead. Whilst it could be seen as a bit of good-humoured fun, could you imagine the amount of flak that Cameron would get if he did this? Ed Miliband would have a field day at PMQ’s!

Many other famous faces or familiar names have done their bit though. They include the likes of Susan Boyle, Mark Zuckerberg, Oprah Winfrey, Lewis Hamilton, Lady Gaga and George W. Bush.

Even TV characters have done it, including Kermit the Frog from the Muppets and Homer Simpson from the Simpsons (video below of Homer’s challenge)

More recently, I’ve seen my News Feed, especially on Facebook plastered with my friends and colleagues doing the challenge and being nominated. The spread of this ‘bug’ has been massive.

Happy and sad endings

The main charity cause IBC has helped on these shores is the Motor Neurone Disease Association.  In my case, I do charity donations anyway, and however small this can be, it makes me feel pleased to be giving something back. Recently, the British Heart Foundation sent me a letter to celebrate the first year anniversary of giving money to their fight against heart disease on a monthly basis.

My donations are helping the British Heart Foundation fund groundbreaking heart medicine to save people lives. A case study of this was received as part of the letter I received last month. 18 months into her life, Lauren Burns was diagnosed with a hole in her heart. She underwent major surgery and when complications occurred from this, Lauren spent three months hooked up to a life support machine, fighting for her life. Doctors gave her little hope of survival, but nine years on, Lauren is walking, talking and behaving like many girls of her age band. My donation is helping the BHF and allows more people like Lauren in the UK to come back from the brink and live the quality of life they are today. It is these stories that can have a happy ending.

More notably, Sky Sports F1 presenter Natalie Pinkham has been on a remarkable journey in the last three years with a cause close to her heart. In 1999, Natalie worked in an orphanage in Romania and developed a close bond with a young child, called Mirela. After a moving visit to find Mirela 12 years later, Natalie, with the help of her Grand Prix connections and the charity Hope & Homes for Children, set out to raise £200,000 to build a home for Mirela and her siblings. The story was followed in two moving documentaries for Channel 5. With Natalie’s determination and the help of others, the target was achieved and Mirela and other children were able to move into their new home at the start of 2014. As the home can provide a decent quality of life, it gave Mirela a proper home she could grow up in. 

Sadly in early March, Mirela passed away from acute cardio-respiratory failure, just four days after A Home for Mirela was screened on Channel 5. It was a sad ending to an emotional and very moving journey.

Has IBC lost its edge?

The more videos of the Ice Bucket Challenge go online, the more the craze continues but it begs the question though, that despite the money being raised – has it lost its edge?

There could be a concern that some are doing the challenge and then not following up with a promised donation. I hope that is not the case. There are no accusations being made, but I’m sure there is the odd person who hasn’t thought too much about why they are doing the IBC.

If you have been nominated, I’d do it and make the donation. There are special cases and like I mentioned earlier, the media would have a field day if the President of the United States or our own PM did it when the world we live in is experiencing plenty of worldwide conflict. There isn’t a law for not doing the challenge, but at least make a donation if nominated.

There are critics out there in regards to the Ice Bucket Challenge. The waste of water has been mentioned. This is a very valid point, but if donations are being made to various charities, not just the ones first benefiting, then I think it cancels out this argument.

Also, some have taken it too far, with reports of a bullying case in the United States recently on a child who suffers from autism. The important thing about IBC is not to take it seriously. It is a bit of light-hearted fun. At the end of the day though, make sure to remember why you are doing it. You are doing it to help other causes, not to make yourself look like a fool on YouTube and bask in the limelight for it.

Like the no make-up selfie in March, the Ice Bucket Challenge has raised awareness and that is a good thing. I’m sure there will be something else of a groundbreaking context that will sweep social media channels next year. It might be the way to go in the future when it comes to regular donations.

However, the power of the internet can also carry a poisonous edge to it. IBC is the internet craze of the summer but it is starting to lose the ‘cool’ effect. Maybe it is time to put this onto the scrapheap and think of something else. As long as various charities are benefiting from these campaigns, it is good, but it does need to remain fresh in the minds and not become a repetitive stunt.

Categories: America, Charity, Ice, Ice Bucket Challenge, Internet, Money, Social Media, TV, UK, Water