Thursday 28 February 2013

What is love?


Two weeks have now passed since Valentine’s Day – a day where couples or lovers around the world shower their other half with cuddly bears, flowers, chocolates etc. 

As my ‘singleton’ status hasn’t changed, nor will it likely change in the coming months or years (a non-existent track record is proof) – I thought I would try to untangle the complexness that this question can provide on plenty of our lives. 

There are many descriptions and words we can use for love...
What is love?

Pride and affection
After typing ‘Definition of love’ into the Google search engine, these were the two common terminologies.

As a noun, love is an intense feeling of deep affection.  As a verb, it is feeling a deep romantic or sexual attachment to another individual.

So I thought I would explore both sides of these terminologies.

The first one probably applies to me more, and does for so many others.

There are many feelings we have within our systems, whether it be celebrity crushes, family power or pride and belief in the country you live in, support or even represent.

It might only be a short word with four letters in it, but I’ve often found the word to be embarrassing to say, or difficult to use. 

There are many things with our country that can give cause for deep affection.  Examples could be the Queen and the Royal Family for their noble and gracious service towards Britain.

The scenes last year throughout the summer, both at the Olympic Games and the Diamond Jubilee were picture you were there moments – memories you won’t forget. 

Watching it on TV, I certainly felt affection for the Queen – and I experienced the intense feeling of competitors realising their dreams or having hopes shattered at London 2012, both from a distance and from the BT London Live venues I visited.

There are certain aspects that we can also say we love.  It might be a food that you find irresistible to avoid, a football team that gets the blood veins boiling, a celebrity who just captures your heart, or even a particular holiday destination which took you to another planet away from home comforts.

This term is the easiest to explain, and also the easiest to use when you come around to asking the question of ‘What is love?’

Common and complex
This brings me onto the second aspect and the deeper feelings you could/might feel for another human being.

In life, we all go onto meet amazing people who touch us in different ways.  Sometimes it is a chemistry attraction that can be difficult to explain.

And if you are really lucky, you might find the perfect match and spend a life together happily ever after, like in all those fairytales you heard about growing up.

The reality is it is difficult to admit these feelings, and there has to be a confidence and courage to pluck up and say how you truly feel about the individual standing next or opposite to you.  It must be better this way than via e-mail, text messaging, video calling or social media.

Sometimes it can lead to total rejection, or a dismissive reaction.  Other times, the bravery will reap the rewards.  It is difficult to find the right balance and judge when the time and the place is right to blurt it out.

Of course, things could get awkward should the feelings you have not be reciprocated by the fellow human being, but again that will totally depend on the personality and the approach afterwards.

Love is such a powerful word to use, and in these situations – it has to be used very carefully.  It is okay to admit you have feelings for someone, or approach it saying ‘I’d like us to be more than just friends,’ but until you’ve been with someone – you don’t know what it is really like and that’s the reality.

In my instance, being single is not the greatest feeling in the world at all.  I have hoped I would have found my perfect match by now, but for one reason or another (work, college, University), nothing happened.  That wasn’t for the worth of trying though.

I don’t want to delve too much into my history of feeling love, or shall we say ‘feel different’ in this situation.  My experiences of telling people how I feel haven’t turned out the way I hoped they would. 

Has it knocked my confidence in this department?  Yes it has, without a doubt.  I wish things could have ended different, but it is no good dwelling on everything.  Rewinding the century or the year is not an option, and you must move on in these instances.  Sometimes, it just isn’t meant to be.

Occasionally, you have to go and find love, and that isn’t me.  I don’t do dating websites – so the chances of finding love and settling down with the opposite partner I’d say are slim at best. 
However, you never know what is around the corner.  The people who make you the happiest are often the people you never expect.  When you find love, you must cherish it or it will come back to bite you.

Answering the question
In summary, what does love mean to me?  It means feeling pride, joy and happiness in being surrounded by your passions and interests.  While I might not have found my ‘special one’ (sorry Mr. Mourinho for borrowing your phrase), I can count myself lucky that I have a close network of loving family and caring friends.

And what is love ultimately?  I think I will say that it means different things to pretty much everybody on this planet.

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