I can
probably speak for many that life isn’t plain-sailing. Nor should it be. You would have to be the luckiest person in
the world to have the perfect everything.
If you do
have the perfect job, the perfect marriage, the perfect family and friends, and
the perfect bank balance, then congratulations for being such a lucky
devil.
I don’t mean
that in a bad way either, I just prefer those who have to work exceptionally
hard to get where they are today, rather than see success just handed out on a
plate.
Plus, it is
important to recover from setbacks and take the positives out of experiences –
otherwise we don’t improve as individuals.
That could be
a record deal that has turned sour, a football transfer move that went wrong, or
something as simple as a rejection which could mean the end of the world.
The reality
is it isn’t. New avenues can open up,
and for every crushing disappointment – there’s a cloud in a silver lining.
For me, I’ve
had a couple of experiences where I have had this and reacted in different ways. One was on an educational scale, and one was
on the never ending job search lately.
On both
occasions, I took the positives from this shattering setbacks and feel that
improvements can and will be made. After
all, that is the only way we improve as individuals. Self-assessment doesn’t have to be taxing as
one advert used to say.
Unfair but made sense
It was the
autumn of 2001, and the world was only just coming to terms with the shocking
terrorist attack on America on September 11th, and the air strikes
that had got underway in Afghanistan – a country that our brave and strong
troops are still serving in today.
In my own
personal life, I had just started at secondary school – a massive change after
four years at the same middle school.
I remember
the start of my first year there (Year 8), and it was a real wake-up call. The high amount of levels in homework was
absolutely ridiculous. I wasn’t prepared
for such a change, and some of the lessons were demanding too.
It was a
packed curriculum at the time. Not only
did you have the basics of English, Maths and Science to cope with, there were
lessons in French, I.C.T, R.S, Geography, History, Music, Food Technology, P.E,
Drama and Art. You could see
how easy it was for me to be confused!
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| Sometimes, phrases in pictures speak louder than words in general |
Anyway I
still thought I was managing the situation okay, until in October – six weeks
after the first term began. The school changed the timetables around and I was put in
a lower group of study. It was called
Route 2 as I recall at the time.
Not only was
I going to be separated from the friendship network I was building up, it felt
like an insult to my intelligence. I’m
not the smartest tool in the box, but I couldn’t fathom why I wasn’t good
enough to not be in a higher group.
I’ve always
wanted to challenge myself, and felt this was a massive
misjudgement from my secondary school.
I went home
that night in floods of tears. I don’t
think I’ve been more devastated than I was that Friday evening in my education
history, apart from GCSE results day. I
didn’t care about what people were saying to me that this wasn’t the end of my
hopes for the future.
All I wanted
to do was crawl underneath something and stay there. Half-term was around the corner, so it didn’t
matter.
I felt I was
considered as a total failure and a write-off.
Those who know me will agree that I have often shown a dramatic side to
my personality.
Ultimately,
it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Although I had to deal with a stalking
problem from a fellow student who nobody liked, dropping to a lower level meant
I was able to cope with the workload much better.
I worked
hard, got some decent end-of-year exam results and at the end of the year – got
my promotion back to a higher tier of study for Year 9.
My initial reaction
was one of pain, hurt and anger. In the
long run, everything worked out through some hard work, more determination and
a stronger side to me that I had probably been lacking in education upto that
point.
Taking the positives out of the
disappointment
On Monday
this week, I got the news I wasn’t hoping for.
I had been turned down for a job I had applied for in media.
It was my
first media interview since graduating from the University of Northampton last summer. All those application rejections, ignored
e-mails and unpaid experiences that had turned sour finally had a point.
I don’t want
to say too much about the role I was going for, except it would have meant relocation
from my current base to the north of England.
Also, it was
an entry level position and one where I felt I met all of the job specifications
in the criteria.
I had the
interview last week, and felt I did very well.
I was nervous on the day, but I didn’t show it. I spoke confidently, showed my problem
solving skills, explained what I had done before and undergone a written assessment
of a high standard.
I left the
venue and the area feeling that I had done all that I could. I couldn’t have done anymore to be honest,
and at the end of the day – that’s all you can do in any given situation.
The position
was always going to be fiercely competitive, and it ended up going to an
individual with more experience in an office environment.
That is no
reflection on me, and the feedback I got was very positive. Sure, I was very disappointed with the
outcome. Who wouldn’t be in that
situation, but the experience I’ve taken from this is valuable.
With a degree
of luck, I hope it won’t be long before the big breakthrough happens for
me. It’s no good stuffing your face with
chocolate and sitting in a corner staring into space. That’s the quitting option – and that is not
an option for yours truly.
If something
doesn’t quite go the way you want it to go, it is important to learn from your
setbacks and become stronger for them, otherwise we don’t become better people
at the end of the day.
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