Showing posts with label English. Show all posts
Showing posts with label English. Show all posts

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Liars never prosper

By Simon Wright – Follow me on Twitter @Siwri88

Throughout our time on this planet, we all will or have made a bad decision. This could range from a dodgy choice of girlfriend and trusting someone you shouldn’t to taking a risk that ultimately backfires. From my own experiences, being honest is the best way forward.

There are some creatures though who develop a habit and an unhealthy one at that too. It might not be as damaging on a health scale if you compared it to smoking or addictions to gambling, drinking and prescription drugs but it put bad stains on characters.

Lying through our teeth is often the easiest way out of a sticky situation. Once you have lied, it can be quite easy to repeat the trick because it causes less strain in a relationship, friendship or professional aspect. What it means though is when the truth is revealed, the individual caught lying looks like as the saying goes; ‘an English fool.’

Liars never prosper and here are three examples – one from a TV show, one from the political spectrum and a few experiences involving yours truly where honesty should be and is the best way forward.

Broken promises
The broken promise is a term used when in public, you make a promise to do something radical, then go back on your plan and become a figure of hatred. In the world of politics, the game of lying to try to win the minds and hearts of voters has often been used. However, the difference between sly points and major policy reform can have major implications on future careers, particularly in senior positions. Yes you’ve probably guessed it, I’m talking about Nick Clegg.

Four years ago, Mr Clegg was the ‘supposed’ brightest thing about British politics. Gordon Brown was on his way out and David Cameron seen as the man in the middle. Clegg, leader of the Liberal Democrats made some bold statements in the run-up to the 2010 General Election, outperforming his rivals frequently in the live televised debates. Ultimately the Lib Dems didn’t do brilliantly as an overall party, but Clegg’s influence persuaded Cameron to go into a coalition government with him after no overall majority seized control.

Clegg (pictured below) appealed to the younger voter, especially as one of his main aims of his party's manifesto was for tuition fees at University to be abolished. First put in by Labour under Tony Blair’s stewardship, University was becoming more and more expensive. I was at Uni at the time, and Clegg’s desire to ditch this policy was a major pulling power – perhaps not to change my life but because it would encourage many generations afterwards to stick with higher education. After all, we were often told that you were a no-hoper without a degree.
Nick Clegg's actions from 2010 have really hurt him recently
Six months later, Clegg went back on his promise and when a bill was pushed through the House of Commons to increase tuition fees to £9000 a year which was a Conservative plan, he went along with it. He lied through his teeth to his party, and the people that marked an ‘x’ next to the Liberal Democrats months earlier. As a result, peaceful demonstrations across London in November 2010 turned into something far more violent. That action can’t be excused but you could also sympathise with the anger youngsters felt towards Nick Clegg. He had kicked this group in an unpleasant place and the fallout for him has been massive.

After an overwhelming rejection of his AV vote plan a year later, the Lib Dems performed so miserably in the recent Local and European election, it was kicked into sixth place in many counties and districts across the country, falling behind the likes of the BNP and the Green Party. As UKIP leader Nigel Farage celebrated his success over a pint, Clegg was giving TV interviews looking red-eyed and broken; as if a toy had just had its batteries removed easily. The fight in him has gone. He will be around for another 12 months but it is unlikely he will end 2015 anywhere near Westminster. A career in politics has been ruined by lying to thousands of people. The moral in this is liars never prosper. His lies have caught up with him now.

The bigamist
If you like your secrets, your liars and your affairs, then soapland is the place to be. The nation is often taken in by the regular dozes of what is offered in the Yorkshire Dales, Walford and Chester. Some soap characters are loved to hate. Others just never learn their lessons from previous big errors. One of these is Coronation Street’s Peter Barlow, played by actor Chris Gascoyne.

Once upon a time, his character was married to two people at the same time! The cake wasn’t enough, so he needed some icing on top! 11 years later, Mr Barlow seemed settled. He had controlled his alcohol addiction, was married to factory owner Carla Connor (played by Alison King), devoted his child and owned 50 per cent of the local knickers factory. Not bad going. Sadly for him as has often been the case, temptation strayed him and led to lie after lie.

When he has it all, Peter Barlow then does a really good job of messing it all up. He started an affair with his child’s babysitter Tina (played by Michelle Keegan), and couldn’t keep away. Oblivious to Carla, he kept coming up with cheap excuses to get his second helping of satisfaction. Eventually, his lies and deception led to him getting back on the booze and looking like a fool once again.

The storyline led to Carla finding out and vowing revenge on the pair. Before she could though, Tina was killed in a recent dramatic exit. Now, Peter has lost it all. His marriage is over, Carla miscarried with his child following the stress of the revelation, his lover is dead, his son hates him and he is back on the booze. Round of applause for the ultimate cock-up!

While it might only been a TV programme, don’t be surprised to find similar kind of problems up and down the land. Sometimes, the quiet life is okay but can get boring for others and lead to these kind of things such as having sneaky affairs and the development of dangerous addictions.

The moral to this is; be thankful for what you have and count your blessings. Unfortunately for Peter Barlow’s soap character, that wasn’t enough. The ex-bigamist simply couldn’t keep his trousers on.

My experiences 
At the end of the day, have we all told a white, little lie once in a while? Probably we all have. I know I did, especially in my young days – going all the way back to primary school.

As I’ve grown up, I have matured and understand far more about the consequences of lying. There a difference in gravitation between lies. Small things such as making an excuse up to not meet up are frustrating but can easily been forgiven. Much bigger things when the lives of other people can be changed by your actions is a far bigger deal.

At University, I was taught by one of my colleagues to just be honest. If you think someone has offended you, tell them face-to-face, not through social media or text message. There isn’t any point in hiding away feelings, as it can often cause far more damage.

I’ve been accused of lying before and that isn’t nice. Being honest won’t always get you what you want. A confession of love or assessments of a social situation are examples but I do believe you become a better person for these experiences. Lying makes things even worse and doesn’t make you a great individual – one who certainly doesn’t deserve a lot of time and effort for sure.

At the end of the day, liars never prosper. It might be fun and thrilling at the time but the web of deceit will ultimately catch up and have a much bigger bite. Those who do it, perhaps think about the potential consequences before deciding the route you go towards.

Thursday, 28 February 2013

Recovering from setbacks


I can probably speak for many that life isn’t plain-sailing.  Nor should it be.  You would have to be the luckiest person in the world to have the perfect everything.

If you do have the perfect job, the perfect marriage, the perfect family and friends, and the perfect bank balance, then congratulations for being such a lucky devil. 

I don’t mean that in a bad way either, I just prefer those who have to work exceptionally hard to get where they are today, rather than see success just handed out on a plate.

Plus, it is important to recover from setbacks and take the positives out of experiences – otherwise we don’t improve as individuals.

That could be a record deal that has turned sour, a football transfer move that went wrong, or something as simple as a rejection which could mean the end of the world.

The reality is it isn’t.  New avenues can open up, and for every crushing disappointment – there’s a cloud in a silver lining.

For me, I’ve had a couple of experiences where I have had this and reacted in different ways.  One was on an educational scale, and one was on the never ending job search lately. 

On both occasions, I took the positives from this shattering setbacks and feel that improvements can and will be made.  After all, that is the only way we improve as individuals.  Self-assessment doesn’t have to be taxing as one advert used to say.

Unfair but made sense
It was the autumn of 2001, and the world was only just coming to terms with the shocking terrorist attack on America on September 11th, and the air strikes that had got underway in Afghanistan – a country that our brave and strong troops are still serving in today.

In my own personal life, I had just started at secondary school – a massive change after four years at the same middle school.

I remember the start of my first year there (Year 8), and it was a real wake-up call.  The high amount of levels in homework was absolutely ridiculous.  I wasn’t prepared for such a change, and some of the lessons were demanding too.

It was a packed curriculum at the time.  Not only did you have the basics of English, Maths and Science to cope with, there were lessons in French, I.C.T, R.S, Geography, History, Music, Food Technology, P.E, Drama and Art.  You could see how easy it was for me to be confused!

Sometimes, phrases in pictures speak louder than words in general
Anyway I still thought I was managing the situation okay, until in October – six weeks after the first term began.  The school changed the timetables around and I was put in a lower group of study.  It was called Route 2 as I recall at the time.

Not only was I going to be separated from the friendship network I was building up, it felt like an insult to my intelligence.  I’m not the smartest tool in the box, but I couldn’t fathom why I wasn’t good enough to not be in a higher group. 

I’ve always wanted to challenge myself, and felt this was a massive misjudgement from my secondary school.

I went home that night in floods of tears.  I don’t think I’ve been more devastated than I was that Friday evening in my education history, apart from GCSE results day.  I didn’t care about what people were saying to me that this wasn’t the end of my hopes for the future. 

All I wanted to do was crawl underneath something and stay there.  Half-term was around the corner, so it didn’t matter.

I felt I was considered as a total failure and a write-off.  Those who know me will agree that I have often shown a dramatic side to my personality.

Ultimately, it was the best thing that could have happened to me.  Although I had to deal with a stalking problem from a fellow student who nobody liked, dropping to a lower level meant I was able to cope with the workload much better.

I worked hard, got some decent end-of-year exam results and at the end of the year – got my promotion back to a higher tier of study for Year 9. 

My initial reaction was one of pain, hurt and anger.  In the long run, everything worked out through some hard work, more determination and a stronger side to me that I had probably been lacking in education upto that point.

Taking the positives out of the disappointment
On Monday this week, I got the news I wasn’t hoping for.  I had been turned down for a job I had applied for in media.

It was my first media interview since graduating from the University of Northampton last summer.  All those application rejections, ignored e-mails and unpaid experiences that had turned sour finally had a point.

I don’t want to say too much about the role I was going for, except it would have meant relocation from my current base to the north of England. 

Also, it was an entry level position and one where I felt I met all of the job specifications in the criteria.

I had the interview last week, and felt I did very well.  I was nervous on the day, but I didn’t show it.  I spoke confidently, showed my problem solving skills, explained what I had done before and undergone a written assessment of a high standard.

I left the venue and the area feeling that I had done all that I could.  I couldn’t have done anymore to be honest, and at the end of the day – that’s all you can do in any given situation.

The position was always going to be fiercely competitive, and it ended up going to an individual with more experience in an office environment.

That is no reflection on me, and the feedback I got was very positive.  Sure, I was very disappointed with the outcome.  Who wouldn’t be in that situation, but the experience I’ve taken from this is valuable.

With a degree of luck, I hope it won’t be long before the big breakthrough happens for me.  It’s no good stuffing your face with chocolate and sitting in a corner staring into space.  That’s the quitting option – and that is not an option for yours truly.

If something doesn’t quite go the way you want it to go, it is important to learn from your setbacks and become stronger for them, otherwise we don’t become better people at the end of the day.